Breathe

My aunt has pulmonary hypertension, a disease that cripples her lungs,
So from time to time, when the Tss-Tss sounds, it sounds like she's speaking in tongues,
And I haven't slept well in months-,
Ever since I found out she hasn't slept well in years,
A deleterious underlying disease that allures death to her life and breathes life to her fears,

So to fight off the only imminent constant in life we all fear,
She wears a life support system slung across her shoulder,
That sits upon her hip like an unwanted holster,

YOU LIVE BY THE GUN, YOU'LL DIE BY THE GUN,

But what happens to those people that don't pick the lifestyle they want?,
You see, She didn't choose this lifestyle, but she can't undo what is done,
So she sighs toward the sun,
Because she hates looking down, because everytime she looks over- she's reminded that the ends getting closer,
And with every incessant incremented Tsss that releases air to her lungs, she can't forget the fact that life's almost over,

She doesn't deserve this disease; This woman is an Angel,
And sometimes I wish I can come into acquisition of one of the feathers from her wings,
And dabble that feather in God's ink, - And rewrite what was written,
But I can't undo what is done

BREATHE

Scleroderma, the demonic underlying disease that does way more than just stifle her lungs,
It releases these apparitions in her mind,
So everytime she looks in the mirrors, she laments over this Monster she has become,
And I try to tell her Auntie your an Angel, so feel free to borrow my eyes when you want,
But she won't hear none of that,

Beep Beep Tssssssss Bring her back,
Auntie BREATHE!

I haven't slept well in months,
Knowing she hasn't slept well in years,
When depression gets so abysmal, she envies the people that live life day by day. .
Because in the physical they're still here,
You try to see how far the horizon extends in her eyes, Not far, she lives life tear by tear,

You see her body died a long time ago,
But underneath her paper thin skin and brittle bones lies a brighter soul,
I wish there was something I could do to ensure that her light would shine through,
Because when she hurts,
We hurt- which means I'm dying too,
I wish there was something I could do,
It makes me want to be a doctor so I can find a cure that's ground breaking,
No! It makes me want to be a God- Someone tell me where to sign up so I can be a God. .
So I can touch her heart and heal it from its' seven years of over compensation,
I want to be a God,
Maybe than she'll be able to walk fifteen paces without fainting,
Auntie BREATHE!

I want to be a God so I can heal her so she never has to pick up the syringe she uses atleast three times a day,
I want to be the truth behind her son's hopeful words, when he says "Tontie you'll be fine today",
Tss Tss, Cough Cough, BEEP BEEP, I guess her son lied today,

That beep, that beep is the sound of her heart working harder,
That beep, that beep is the sound of my self-hate being built up and harbored,
Because there's nothing I can do when her lungs have failed to take in enough oxygen,
Which means her body is unable to stay stable like halogens,
You see what's happening - is her blood vessels are thickening and getting as rigid as rocks
So from a lack of blood this Angel's beautiful black hands turn blue,
And consequently, My heart does too,
All I want her to do is just BREATHE,

But she doesn't feel good today,
So I won't sleep well tonight,
Knowing she hasn't slept well in years,
Do you have any idea how it feels to live life tear by tear?,
If the answer is no, ask that woman because she is still here,
She can tell you all about wishing to dream just to escape her life of nighmares,
And sometimes I get scared,
Because this underlying disease takes breath from her life and breathes life to my fears,
BREATHE!

In 2001, the Doctor's words slammed down on my Aunt's broken heart,
Leaving her tears to wallow in her sunken heart like a basin,
And I want to cry, when she says "I want to to die, but this life ain't my life for the taken",
It makes me want to shove those words down that doctor's throat,
Like you musta be mistaken. .
When you played God with my Aunt's life.. tellin' her she wouldn't make it to see 2002,
I want to tell him the time, like. .last time I checked it was 2009,
And that Angel's doing just fine,
I want him to choke on those words that he said to an angel
I want him to choke,
Now you tell me what it feels like not-to-breathe,
Swap eyes with a blind man, now you tell me what it feels like not-to-see,
I want him to choke on his words slow- so he can salvage death when he tastes it,
I want him to choke,
I want him to know what it feels like to know he was suppose to die yesterday,
I want him to choke,
I want to tell my Auntie that doctor is no God, he is just a man!
But she won't here none of that,
She's to busy counting her tomorrows on a limbless hand,

I want him to choke,
But still, that wouldn't help me sleep well tonight,
Knowing that my Aunt will use that syringe to help her sleep through hell tonight,
This woman hasn't slept well in years,

So before I go to sleep I pray to God just to let her be again,
That he'll give his Angel her sight back and she'll be able to see again,
And when that day comes. . Auntie- when that day comes. .you'll be able to BREATHE again

~KG THE KING