Caged Black Lion

THE PRELUDE

I know the Caged Black Lion well
He is I, and I am he
He is you, He is youth
He is your brother- My father- A farmer
Nothing but a pauper
Your Poppa. . . The black John Proctor

He doesn't have much, but he is willing to give to her almost his all
He gives her almost all of his soul, but bids to you just to leave him his name
As the Black Proctor Explains. . .

Because it is his name
Because he can not have another in his life
Because he lies and signs himself to lies
Because he knows he is not worth the dust of the feet of those so bold to leap- and yet fall cheap, but die happily because --they know it is not from the nooses of their insecurities that they hang
So yes, he can give you almost all of his soul just leave for him his name.


THE CAGED BLACK LION - The Poem

Understand why a Lion can never shed his mane
Never- bare his soul
Never- show his pain
His insecurities have rendered him naked,
He has a heart- Just no sleeves to place it
So he wears his soul underneath his soles, never to be shown-
Yet never to be taken

He will never see him cry- he has to much riding on his pride..
Thus the question holds;
If a lion were to shed his mane- would his pride respond to his roar?
Or would he just fall. . .

Do you understand why this Caged Black Lion roars?
From the bottom of his soul- do you feel him?
From the tip of his tongue- Do you hear him?
Do you feel the vibrations of his roar as the crumbling of his heart? - Or do you just fear him?
Do you hear the echoes that forever oscillate against his shattered soul crying out for God? Did you ever even ear him?
Did you notice his ever roaming for the truth amongst the cornerstones of the world was him searching for himself?- I bet you never even steered him

He will never ask for help
You see, this mane covers his eyes and clouds his judgment
It is the only thing he sees- and doesn't see
So it becomes the only thing in his own darkness that guides him
The only thing that covers him
It is his coat, his indispensible cloak
All woven from the same mane that made his invisible rope
Within his own insecurities. . he and his lioness have enough time to be intangled forever
So he watches out for the highs, because once he falls- it is both of them that will dangle together

So comfortable in his own darkness he has become that he finds redemption when he preys (prays) in the night

Shhh

Listen with your fingertips. .
Do you feel his roar motioning the movement at the ends of the ocean floor?
He's become so comfortable down there. .

He embraces his uncertanties as if they were a song. .
that ricochet upon the threshold of his echoes-
if you listen closely you can hear the lyrics screaming
Let Go. . . (Let Go). . .(Let Go) . . . (LET GO)!

But that hope that you hear gets muffled by his mane
So you hear it as his roar, when infact- you are listening to the rumbles of his pains

I bid you to listen a little louder,
Look beyond his beard- so you can bare witness to what you thought an incredulous pride- embodied in his mane
Look louder once againe. .

Did you ever even realize how he has found security within his insecurities. .
Do you see now how ones vulnerabilities can stain?
Because once his Lioness has left her mark- He's left for dark
And all she leaves for him is pain. .
That he will carry with him into tomorrow's eternity

~KG THE KING

Breathe

My aunt has pulmonary hypertension, a disease that cripples her lungs,
So from time to time, when the Tss-Tss sounds, it sounds like she's speaking in tongues,
And I haven't slept well in months-,
Ever since I found out she hasn't slept well in years,
A deleterious underlying disease that allures death to her life and breathes life to her fears,

So to fight off the only imminent constant in life we all fear,
She wears a life support system slung across her shoulder,
That sits upon her hip like an unwanted holster,

YOU LIVE BY THE GUN, YOU'LL DIE BY THE GUN,

But what happens to those people that don't pick the lifestyle they want?,
You see, She didn't choose this lifestyle, but she can't undo what is done,
So she sighs toward the sun,
Because she hates looking down, because everytime she looks over- she's reminded that the ends getting closer,
And with every incessant incremented Tsss that releases air to her lungs, she can't forget the fact that life's almost over,

She doesn't deserve this disease; This woman is an Angel,
And sometimes I wish I can come into acquisition of one of the feathers from her wings,
And dabble that feather in God's ink, - And rewrite what was written,
But I can't undo what is done

BREATHE

Scleroderma, the demonic underlying disease that does way more than just stifle her lungs,
It releases these apparitions in her mind,
So everytime she looks in the mirrors, she laments over this Monster she has become,
And I try to tell her Auntie your an Angel, so feel free to borrow my eyes when you want,
But she won't hear none of that,

Beep Beep Tssssssss Bring her back,
Auntie BREATHE!

I haven't slept well in months,
Knowing she hasn't slept well in years,
When depression gets so abysmal, she envies the people that live life day by day. .
Because in the physical they're still here,
You try to see how far the horizon extends in her eyes, Not far, she lives life tear by tear,

You see her body died a long time ago,
But underneath her paper thin skin and brittle bones lies a brighter soul,
I wish there was something I could do to ensure that her light would shine through,
Because when she hurts,
We hurt- which means I'm dying too,
I wish there was something I could do,
It makes me want to be a doctor so I can find a cure that's ground breaking,
No! It makes me want to be a God- Someone tell me where to sign up so I can be a God. .
So I can touch her heart and heal it from its' seven years of over compensation,
I want to be a God,
Maybe than she'll be able to walk fifteen paces without fainting,
Auntie BREATHE!

I want to be a God so I can heal her so she never has to pick up the syringe she uses atleast three times a day,
I want to be the truth behind her son's hopeful words, when he says "Tontie you'll be fine today",
Tss Tss, Cough Cough, BEEP BEEP, I guess her son lied today,

That beep, that beep is the sound of her heart working harder,
That beep, that beep is the sound of my self-hate being built up and harbored,
Because there's nothing I can do when her lungs have failed to take in enough oxygen,
Which means her body is unable to stay stable like halogens,
You see what's happening - is her blood vessels are thickening and getting as rigid as rocks
So from a lack of blood this Angel's beautiful black hands turn blue,
And consequently, My heart does too,
All I want her to do is just BREATHE,

But she doesn't feel good today,
So I won't sleep well tonight,
Knowing she hasn't slept well in years,
Do you have any idea how it feels to live life tear by tear?,
If the answer is no, ask that woman because she is still here,
She can tell you all about wishing to dream just to escape her life of nighmares,
And sometimes I get scared,
Because this underlying disease takes breath from her life and breathes life to my fears,
BREATHE!

In 2001, the Doctor's words slammed down on my Aunt's broken heart,
Leaving her tears to wallow in her sunken heart like a basin,
And I want to cry, when she says "I want to to die, but this life ain't my life for the taken",
It makes me want to shove those words down that doctor's throat,
Like you musta be mistaken. .
When you played God with my Aunt's life.. tellin' her she wouldn't make it to see 2002,
I want to tell him the time, like. .last time I checked it was 2009,
And that Angel's doing just fine,
I want him to choke on those words that he said to an angel
I want him to choke,
Now you tell me what it feels like not-to-breathe,
Swap eyes with a blind man, now you tell me what it feels like not-to-see,
I want him to choke on his words slow- so he can salvage death when he tastes it,
I want him to choke,
I want him to know what it feels like to know he was suppose to die yesterday,
I want him to choke,
I want to tell my Auntie that doctor is no God, he is just a man!
But she won't here none of that,
She's to busy counting her tomorrows on a limbless hand,

I want him to choke,
But still, that wouldn't help me sleep well tonight,
Knowing that my Aunt will use that syringe to help her sleep through hell tonight,
This woman hasn't slept well in years,

So before I go to sleep I pray to God just to let her be again,
That he'll give his Angel her sight back and she'll be able to see again,
And when that day comes. . Auntie- when that day comes. .you'll be able to BREATHE again

~KG THE KING

Caged Black Woman

I know why the caged black woman dreams,
I know why the caged black woman screams,
I know why the caged black woman sings,
Can you even catch the change in theme?

She vehemently dreams becaue that's her vehicle to get away,
She dreams dreams because it is here where she can make sense of her senseless world of grey,
See it is here where her lover who's left, chooses to stay,
It is here the two love birds can dance to the cadenced sounds of rain,
In her dream every water drop represents peace- not pain,
No bill collectors come knockin' because there are no bills to pay,
No not here, her dreams dispell all that can cause dismay,
She can't wait to get down to the sunshine showers of may,
I know why the caged black woman dreams,
She dreams because this is the first time her imperfections aren't her fault,
Usually she'd be armed with a mac stick, lip stick, and a bag full of chalk,
But she's now in a place where she's truly flawless,
A place where she can turn from 18 to 80 and still hasn't lost it,
Imagine. . .
Imagine a place where a black KING appreciates his Queen,
You see here, there's no need for eyeliner to uplift her self-esteem,
Nor does she have to a back hand spring just to fit in those jeans,
She dreams dreams because it is here where mirrors don't constitute beauty,
And the media's emphasis is only on who you are "truly",

I know why the. . . (Ring! Ring!)As her alarm starts to play,
And awakes her from her senseless world of grey,
I know why the caged black woman screams- Well that's not hard to tell,
Just imagine being in Heaven and waking up to a Hell,
Or better yet, fathom being a father and leaving your wife to fend for herself,
She's frustrated, she screams, she cries- cries out for help,
I know why she screams,
She screams to scream sense to her young,
And when her baby boy has gotten to old to obey his own mom..
She screams with her eyes, since she can no longer scream with her tongue,
She screams with her eyes, She screams till she cries. .
She prays on palsied needs for her God to try to make a man of her son,

I know why the black woman loves to quickly,
I know why love can never truly love to hate her,
Cause she knows if you can't love love quickly enough.. love won't love you later,
So she screams, she screams. .
For her ex-love to wake up,
So they kiss and make up,
Oh how she wishes she can dream again, but she can't- so she needs her make up,
To cover up her bumps and bruises,
Moreso to cover up the fact that's she's useless,
Ironically, the make up is more for her insides,
Her pride has passed, but still the love for him didn't die,
So yes the MAC may cover the marks and lacerations,
But the truth remains: there's not enough foundation to rebuild her foundation

She leaves him behind and tries to lose her addiction,
So to cope without coke she sings songs to stop her from twitchin,
I know why she sings- She sings for the black man in her life that she's missin,
She sings for the good and the bad..She sings for reasons I won't write, cause then I'd be trippin,
She sings to show off her beauty- She sings for the eyes that will listen,

I know why the caged black woman sings,
She sings because in the past she could only past as a peasant,
She sings for all in the present to feel her presence,

She sings cause of sorrow,
She sings for tomorrow,

Maybe the rain droplets will make a beat she can sing to one day,
Maybe the skies will clear and she'll make sense of her senseless world of grey,
She sings to forget what her screams make her foresake,
She sings for the hope that one day she can dream her dreams wide awake

I know why the caged Black Woman dreams,
I know why the caged Black Woman screams,
I know why the caged Black Woman sings,
Can you even catch the change in theme?

~KG THE KING

Cross my heart

RING! RING! My phone goes, "KG do you have time to listen. .",
I cut my boy off, "My time is your time" though I knew my time was tickin',
"It's my girl . . . she's trippin,We are built for each other, SHE. IS. MY. 50 percent,
We got that you can't buy this type of love,
That intangible type of love,
That love that can't be spent,
She loves the time we spend,
Says when we kiss her heart quivers like leaves in wind,
And when I'm not with her I miss her grin, Her soft supple touch. .
I miss her skin,She says she dies when she's not with me,
And fiends for the moment when she can die in my arms from our next hug- And I feel- the same,
But the problem is she she's still in love with her ex-love - And I feel- ashamed,
KOF MY NIGGA SHE LIED TO ME!,
Cause she told me three months ago she BEEN over dude, an unbidden suprise to me,
So I ask you. . an insane man to scream sense to me,
Imagine yourself being on this fence with me,
Would you speak with your mind? Or as the man aflamed?",
I interupted, "I'm willing to lose everything in this world, if my pride remains",
He said, "Stop being you. . and slow down and listen",
So I listened againe,So I ask you. . an insane man to scream sense to me,
Should I speak with my heart, because I have that type of love that has a ball and chain to me,
Because I love her,
Because I don't want to lose her,
Because if it was contest between her and my pride, KG . .I would always choose her,
But she's still in love with her ex-love,
And if it's a contest between Him and I. . what if I am the loser?,
Fuck that! That's not the way things should be,

Blinded by love there was nothing I could say.. he would see,

He went on . .And the worse thing Kof. . I told that girl I would wait for her,
But truth be told . . that bitch ain't worth waitin' for,
And I hate to call her a bitch, because that's not what she is at all,
But she cut me down to my last inch, I once was a man that was 8 feet tall. .
When I with her. .
And now she's gone,
Now every woman after her. . I'm doing wrong,
Cross my heart and hope to die. . ,
She shattered my heart and left me just enough rope to die,
Listening with my eyes- I began to sympathize,
His monologue to me, could have easily been- himself depicted as I,
One script flipped my world and switched its' sides,
Footprints flood skies,
And outstretched arms can only aspire to reach toward demise.

CUT

She was almost her. .

She said my name, but in vain,
Or atleast what it used to be,
She had a preconception of the man beforehand, and it was he who I proved to be,
She said, "With enough time invested, he don't know what he can do to me,
But I ain't the one he really care for",
So therefore,
She let me fly like an airport,
Our bullets fly like the airforce,
We cleared port. .

And I tried to tell her it's to hard to used to me,
And it's to hard to get through to me,
And now she's through with me,
But I brush it off,
This is no news to me,
This is nothing new to me. .

BLOOD IN MY EYES

My mother said, "Son leave all of your requests under the cross",
So that night I prayed for everyone except me- under the stars,
I feel my downfall coming, I leave it up to my God,
For every cover up there's an untold story if you read behind these scars,
An enslaved soul trapped behind these bars,
I am so alone, one amongst all of these stars,
And we're all one - in God's eyes. He is the one that hears all tongues
Listens to all languages
He hears the spoken and unspoken,
Mends the minds and spirits that are broken and unbroken,
So help me Lord. .
I'm headed down a road and the sign reads "Where Hope Ends",
I'm caught between a dark road and a culdesac
All I can do is start pacing back
In a different direction...,
Toward a different difficult dead end,
Beaten and broken by bitter words- I once was a man of benevolence,
But I bow my head now; befouled by shame
I denounce thy fame
When you can only look to the man in the mirror- then it is he to blame
You start to contrive reasons why. .
I defy you stars, I deny you flames
LoneStar LoneStar, give a man a title, and that man unconsciously embodies thy name
Not for its deeper meaning, he surrenders to the eyes of the surface seeing, drawn in like game
He is so far drawn, he doesn't realize that he is so far gone,
It takes a nightmare to wake him up. . a nightmare to cut him like thorns,
I've sinned. I'm torn,
Turned my back, to the only woman whom could never turn her back,
So I hope you see, why for me, there's no turning back,
Honestly, I don't know if I'm coming back,
And I want to cry, but those tears get cast out by the blood that floods my eyes
And I have to much pride, so No, you won't see me running back,
I'm tired of talking, I'm out of breath like I'm running track,
Save your breath, your words fall on def ears; they get tuned out like a running track,
These worries whirl around my mind like they're running laps,
Above the surface I am fine, but when you look beneath that line, I get worse with the time
Tick Tock. Tick Tock.
But you can't tell, I keep all that pertains to my downfall under wraps,
Why is it when a man says he's fine- he is walking on his thinnest line?
I wonder why we all wonder that,
Tick Tock. Tick Tock.

~KG THE KING IKA LoneStar